Practice this technique at home for about 10 minutes a day and apply it whenever you need it.

• Settle yourself comfortably where you won?t be disturbed and close your eyes.

• Concentrate on the way your body is resting, noticing the weight of your arms and legs and the way your head is resting and be aware of any sensations you might feel.

• Begin to breathe through the diaphragm, in to the mental count of 7 and out to the mental count of 11. (These numbers are somewhat arbitrary. The main thing is you make the out-breath longer than the in-breath. If 7/11 is too long try 5/8 or even 3/5. Taking longer to breathe out stimulates the body?s natural relaxation response. By changing your pattern of breathing in this way your body naturally begins to relax).

• Do this about 10 ? 20 times and always breathe through the nose as you do it.

• Count the numbers silently to yourself as you breathe and if it helps, visualise them in your minds eye. If your mind wanders off just bring it back to your breathing and begin counting again.

• Become aware of how much less tense you feel, just by relaxing your breathing and calming your thoughts, so you can recognise the feeling more easily in the future.

• Use this time to drift off to your safe, special place (some imaginary place or somewhere you know where you feel really good). Concentrate on making the scene as real as you can. Really see the colours, hear the sounds, feel the textures and smell the smells and imagine how you will feel when you have made those changes that you want to make.

• In this relaxed state, give yourself the suggestion that whenever you want to feel calm and relaxed all you?ll need to do is take a few deep breaths and you will feel all these relaxing sensations once again.

Is it biological?

Genes and biochemistry play only a minor role in the onset of depression. However, most doctors (and pharmaceutical companies) overestimate the biological contributions when the evidence is stronger for depression having its origins in the way people think about and respond to life experiences. The fact is that no depression gene exists. ?The idea that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain is wrong. The chemical imbalance is a consequence of depression, not the cause of it.? ? ? ? ? ? ??

Is it psychological?

Sometimes a painful life event can trigger a depressive episode. The loss of a loved one, or financial problems, for example, can contribute to a feeling of hopelessness or guilt.?Depression is most frequently a product of how one interprets life events as opposed to the events themselves.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Is it sociological?

In the industrialized world today, the dissolution of the nuclear family, the emphasis on material gain over close relationships, social isolation due to geographic mobility and the pace of life getting exhaustingly ever faster all combine to provide a backdrop primed for depressed people. In fact, depression is ten times more common in people born after 1945 than before that year.

This is the evidence that proves depression is not genetic. Human genes simply don?t change that quickly. Evidence strongly supports the fact that the recent rapid changes in Western society directly affect people?s abilities to cope with the stresses of everyday life.

Dreams and Depression

A depressed person is likely to ruminate or worry about things for much of the time. These ruminations are emotionally arousing and tend to have a negative bias. That is, you have a thought and you tend to feel unpleasant about it ? anxious, angry, helpless etc. The problem with this sort of emotional arousal is that it doesn?t do anything. The thought creates the emotional reaction and that?s it. This results in an uncompleted ?loop? in the brains emotional system.

Normally, the emotion would be played through by some action being taken. For example, you think, ?that?s a tiger in the bushes?, feel anxious and run away. At this point the emotional ?loop? is completed. Or, someone annoys you, you deal with it there and then and the loop is completed. But if you don?t resolve these emotional introspections during the day, you take them to bed with you at night.

So what happens when the loop doesn?t complete?

When these emotionally arousing ?loops? remain incomplete at the onset of sleep, the brain does something to complete them. It creates scenarios ? in the form of dreams – that allow the loops to complete. The dream acts out, in metaphor, a situation that will allow the emotional loop to be completed and therefore ?flushed? from the brain.

However, because you do so much more ruminating or negatively introspecting when depressed (and therefore increase emotional arousal and more incomplete loops) the brain has to increase the amount of dreaming you do in order to complete the loops while you sleep. This results in:

1)??? spending too much time in REM (dream) sleep and missing out on slow-wave sleep (which is physically rejuvenating)

2)?? depleting your hormonal system with extended night time emotional arousal

Simply stated, depressive thinking styles will tend to cause more negative emotional arousal and therefore more dreaming. This extra dreaming is to try to ?free the brain? for the next day, but because our negative arousals are excessive when depressed, our natural rhythms find it hard to cope because dreaming is hard work. It is not a restful activity for your brain. Indeed, as far as your brain is concerned, your dream is real, resulting in the release of adrenaline and other stress hormones. The more time you are in REM sleep the less time you get to recuperate in slow-wave sleep. Also if most of your sleep consists of long periods of REM your body and mind will often awaken feeling very tired the next morning. Or, you may start waking early and not be able to get back to sleep. This is very likely caused by your brain trying to protect itself from over-dreaming and the resultant exhaustion. In effect, the brain says, ?I?m getting worn out so I?ll wake you up to stop this over-dreaming!?

The good news is that once your daytime introspections lessen you will once again be able to sleep much better because there will be less dreaming to do in order to turn off the emotional arousal.

So, depression can be said to be a ?bio-psychosocial? condition. The most important thing to remember is that depression is manageable and recovery is highly likely if approached sensibly and skilfully. The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognize you have to do something differently if you want to escape its hold on you, however small that might be.

Jackie uses a ?Solution-Focused? programme tailored to suit your needs and preferences in order to help you to quickly climb out of the feelings of depression and regain control of your life. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ??

Good communication is one of the keys to a successful relationship whether it be with someone close, or a work colleague. ?Below are some tips to improve your communication skills and may even improve your relationships!

L = how we listen to people. This is about ACTIVE LISTENING where you refrain from stating your position and allow the other person to finish what they are saying. Don?t interrupt. Bite upon your tongue if necessary!

Then reflect back your understanding of what they have just told you before you state your own opinion.

This has a hugely calming effect upon the other person in that they feel heard and understood and makes it much more likely that the conversation can proceed in a calm manner.

I = speak from your own position, from ?I?, stating how ?I? feel about things, not complaining or blaming the other person. For example, don?t blame the other person with comments like, ?Do you always have to do that?you can?t be bothered?you are too selfish?you are a lazy so and so??

Effective communication requires that you don?t criticise the other person or their behaviour but instead state how you feel about what they do.

For example, ?I feel really upset when you ignore me.?

The golden rule is to prefix all of your statements with how you feel and to speak from your own perspective, from ?I?.

F = the freedom to own your own problems. So often in life problems are made worse by do-gooders moving in and assuming that, because a problem exists they should be the ones to solve it. People who have studied human psychology know that humans are problem-solvers and that we actually thrive when we have problems to solve. Problems can be seen as peoples ?capital?; as developmental opportunities. Just because someone has a problem doesn?t mean you should steal it from them and try to solve it. People grow through learning how to overcome problems.

So, if a problem exists first ask yourself, ?Is this problem mine and is it my responsibility to solve it?? If it isn?t then allow to person to whom the problem belongs to have a go at solving it. By all means, if people ask for your help then assist them the best you can.

E = everybody should be a winner. Learn to recognise that each person in the conversation/ conflict/ argument has a set of needs and that we should learn to be mindful of what those needs are and try to get them met. This means your needs and the other person?s needs. When needs are met everybody gets something out of the negotiation.

Follow the steps below and notice the changes in your levels of anxiety. ?The more you practice these steps, the more likely you are to reduce your anxiety.?

A = ACCEPT THE ANXIETY. Don?t fight it. Simply know that it is the natural fight/ flight response and is nature?s way of protecting you from danger but that it has been incorrectly set off. ?Accepting the anxiety is the first process to mastering it.

W = WATCH AND SCALE THE ANXIETY FROM 1 TO 10.

A = ACT NORMALLY. Don?t try to escape or run away. Keep doing what you were doing before the anxiety occurred, however shaky you feel. Carry on the best you can. In doing so, you begin to retrain the brain to think that there is nothing to be frightened of in this situation. Do 2 to 5 minutes of 7/11 breathing whilst you go about your activities.

R = REPEAT THE ABOVE 3 STEPS AND RE-ASSESS THE ANXIETY LEVEL FROM?1 TO 10.

E = EXPECT THE BEST! Instead of allowing your imagination to run away with you (in a negative way) why not expect the best? People who suffer from panic and anxiety disorders have incredible imaginations. Why not learn to imagine different, positive outcomes?

Realise that anxiety is a gift from nature, looking after you and protecting you from possible danger. Continue the 7/11 breathing technique and give yourself positive affirmations and expect the anxious feelings to pass in a few moments.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ??

Jackie is a qualified Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist and Counsellor practising at the Self Centre, Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk.

In December 2000 she began her own business as a Wellness Consultant, attending many personal development and skills workshops and spent the next few years advising people on their nutritional needs, weight loss and how to raise their self-esteem. Through this she gained experience in life-coaching, helping people to re-evaluate their lives and give them the confidence and the necessary tools to pursue their goals and dreams.

After personal experience of counselling and hypnotherapy, she decided to learn psychotherapeutic methods in order to help others and gained her Hypnotherapy and Psychology qualification with the prestigious School of Analytical and Cognitive Hypnotherapy at Anglia Ruskin in Chelmsford. Following on from this she set up her practice in July 2004.

Throughout her professional development Jackie has consistently developed herself as a therapist and is currently studying child psychology and training as a Play Therapist to enable her to branch out into working with children as well as adults. ?She also does volunteer work at the local Children’s Centre as a Community Parent offering information and support to parents with young children.

Jackie is a member of the following governing bodies:

• The General Hypnotherapy Standards Council?(GHSC) and the GHR (The General Hypnotherapy Register) is the registering agency for the GHSC and all registered practitioners are fully insured and follow a strict code of ethics and practice. ?
• Play Therapy United Kingdom?(PTUK) -?the UK Society for Play and Creative Arts Therapies Limited which is a not for profit organisation dedicated to promoting the use of play and creative arts as ways of enabling children to reach their full potential. ?PTUK also follow a strict ethical framework.

Her primary way of working utilises Counselling and Coaching drawing from Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Hypnotherapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)?when appropriate. ?She uses counselling to provide a safe, non-judgemental space in which to share your concerns and her coaching skills enable her to pool her other skills together in order to?facilitate healing. ?

Jackie says, “Many problems are symptomatic of an imbalance deep within which can lead to emotional needs that are not being met. This means that barriers created by your subconscious to protect you from hurt or pain are blocking you from truly living. ?Once we heal the hurt inside, you can live the life you deserve!”

Jackie asks that you keep an open mind, so that she can work with you to give you the tools that can ultimately help build your self-esteem and confidence, enabling you to overcome stressful situations more easily. ?By helping you become aware of your own inner resources Jackie will show you how to call on them to improve the way you feel about yourself and your life. ?

Jackie says “I believe that the power to change our lives lies within each and every one of us. However, most people do not know how to tap into their power and may end up feeling anxious, depressed, stressed, and may develop phobias or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders). ?Some people relive childhood traumas over and over again in their adult lives, which can mean a frustrating and unfulfilled life full of fear and insecurity. ?Others end up living like robots, not feeling or allowing ourselves to have dreams, just existing and going through the motions of life.”

Jackie helps people with a variety of?problems?and even if you just feel dissatisfied and empty inside not really knowing what is missing, she can help you find the answers (that are already within you) to leading a fulfilled and happy life. ?Or, if you just need to enhance your career and improve your relationships Jackie can help you with this too!

Call Jackie on 07771 620286 or email jackie.richardson@mindurself.co.uk to book a FREE 20 mins Consultation.